


i'm not a princess (this ain't a fairy tale)

by transgirluma



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Dreams, Gen, Possession, Sleepwalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 13:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19252216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgirluma/pseuds/transgirluma
Summary: “she takes a deep breath. she knows better than to crumple here, in the flashes of the camera. their lenses are aimed at ben and mal, but audrey knows that if she breaks down here, she'll never escape the legacy of being ben's ‘crazy ex’. she digs her nails into the palm of her hand sharply. she can do this. stand still, look pretty, smile for the cameras. and when she's alone, she can fall apart then. where there's no cameras.”or; audrey and the engagement.





	i'm not a princess (this ain't a fairy tale)

**Author's Note:**

> this is all heavily based on my theory about why, exactly, audrey turns ‘evil’ in descendants three. so. audrey deserves so much — like there's no way that growing up with aurora for a mother and cameras on you at all times _isn't_ traumatizing, tbh. not that aurora would be a bad mother, but girl has got to have some trauma from almost being murdered by a dragon and being lied to about who she is all her life. anyway sorry it's a) so short, and b) hasn't been beta'd, at all. i might expand on this concept after d2 comes out but we'll see i guess. in the meantime i hope y'all enjoy — please kudos and comment if you do. <3
> 
> the song from the title is “white horse” by taylor swift, although also on my audrey playlist are “prom queen” by molly kate kestner and “princesses don't cry” by aviva.

when audrey hears ben propose, she shouts “no!” before she can stop herself. it's not that she has anything _against_ mal, per se, but it's just that audrey has always thought her romance with ben was, well...doomed. not only because mal was an isle girl suffocated into the royal way of life (and she keeps saying she isn't but audrey sees the hesitation before she says yes) but because, well... she'd always hoped that ben would come back to her. she loves him, she really does, she really did — all that smothering and cheesy nicknames and clinginess was because she'd felt him slipping away and wanted to remind him why he'd loved her. and then he'd dumped her _in public_ and she'd gone on to date chad, who was sweet, sure, but...he wasn't what she wanted. she missed ben, so she'd broken things off with chad, thinking that ben would eventually come back to her, or, at the very least, break up with mal, and... she takes a deep breath. she knows better than to crumple here, in the flashes of the camera. their lenses are aimed at ben and mal, but audrey knows that if she breaks down here, she'll never escape the legacy of being ben's ‘crazy ex’. she digs her nails into the palm of her hand sharply. she can do this. stand still, look pretty, smile for the cameras. and when she's alone, she can fall apart then. where there's no cameras. 

audrey is startled out of her thoughts when her grandmother whispers into her ear. “are you alright, dear?” she murmurs, concern in her tone. audrey nods, though a lump has formed in her throat. she digs her nails into her palms, the sharp pain centering her, bringing her back. she can’t fall apart, not here.

“i'm fine,” she assures her. “i'm fine, really. i thought i saw a bee.” audrey's grandmother pats her shoulder. her grandmother knows that audrey came out of the womb afraid of anything that could prick her. bee stings, needles, spinning wheels. to this day she can't embroider (something _every_ princes should be able to do, she can hear fairy godmother chiding her) without wearing thimbles on all of her fingers. 

“do you need to go?” her grandmother asks, and audrey nods. she doesn’t speak, afraid her tone will betray that she’s about to cry. she starts the walk back up to the castle, and when she’s alone in her bedroom, only then, does she let herself cry. the tears spill down her face before she can stop them, and her cheeks burn with embarrassment. thick, choking sobs spill out of her throat and if sarah was here she’d have a panic attack because audrey isn’t the only girl in auradon prep with the legacy of her mother’s trauma hanging over her head and sarah’s always been afraid of choking and — 

— and audrey shakes her head. she needs to pick herself back up, to be the perfect princess she always has had to be. even if she doesn’t today, eventually she’s going to have to fix her mascara, don’t cry, attend ben and mal’s wedding and dance with chad and pretend it doesn’t hurt to watch ben get married to someone else. she wishes she had someone to talk to about all of this, about how the paparazzi expects her to be perfect, and she’s never gotten over ben, not really, but lonnie's back home, in china, and audrey thinks jane has never quite forgiven her, and obviously not evie (she's seen the way evie looks at mal when she thinks no one else is watching, but evie doesn't understand, not really. not the pressures of the cameras and having to be a picture perfect princess, no matter what's just happened). no, it has to be someone from auradon, but none of them understand, not really. none of them could. 

she’s exhausted, suddenly, in that way that happens when she’s been crying. she lies down, the side of her face on the silk pillow her mother gave her for a birthday present last year as the tears streak down her face and soak the fabric. her chest heaves, the silent sobs somehow worse than they were before. her eyes flutter shut, slowly, and audrey forces them open — she’s never liked falling asleep. she’s too afraid she’ll never wake up. going to sleep is like falling — it’s too fast and then too slow all at once. there’s a reason they call it ‘falling’ asleep, after all — and she tries to focus on the picture of her and ben she keeps on her nightstand, but it only makes her sob more, and she gives in, closing her eyes. 

she’s halfway asleep when she hears a voice whispering to her. _wakey wakey,_ it croons, and audrey’s eyes flutter open. she looks around, but everything is moving slowly, as if she’s in a dream, and it comes to her quickly that she must be dreaming. there’s a soft pink mist coating the forest all around her, and the voice croons to her again. _audrey_ , it murmurs, and audrey blanches. 

“how do you know my name?” she half-yells, half asks. the only response is her own words echoing back at her, slow and distorted. in front of her, the mist drifts away and the forest opens into a clearing, and in the clearing is a crown. the queen’s crown. _put it on_ , the voice whispers. _it’s what you deserve. you earned this crown. did mal?_ the voice scoffs when it mentions mal, but audrey is too compelled by the crown to question it. she can just put it on, right? just once. just to know how it feels. just to know what it’s like.

her fingers wrap around the crown, and she places it on her head and the weight feels almost right. _yes_ , the voice hisses. _yes, dear one_. the pedestal the crown was on vanishes as if it was made of mist, and audrey sees then, in the center of the clearing, maleficent’s staff. _take it_ , the voice whispers. _mal was never the rightful heir of that staff. she took what was yours. now it’s time for you to take what’s hers_. audrey frowns. she shouldn’t, she knows she shouldn’t, she doesn’t want — magic is dangerous, but —

— but before she knows what she’s doing, her fingers have wrapped around the staff’s handle, almost like it wanted her to do it. _yes_ , the voice hisses. _yes_. the staff begins to burn her hand, and audrey tries to pull away, but it’s as if her fingers are glued to the staff, and the gem in it lights up, a bright, sickening green, and —

— and it’s exactly at that moment that audrey falls further, into what is a deep, empty, dreamless sleep.


End file.
